Random thoughts about Kaiden and his trip

I was walking on the beach this morning when I found a marble - this may not be a big thing to you but it brought me back to when Kaiden was walking the same beach with me.  He was  so thrilled to find his marble that had been left by the sea- and I got the same excitement finding my marble.  Kaidens time here was fantastic and now that I have recovered from him I have had time to reflect on his trip.
 As many of you know Kaiden and I do not have what many would consider a normal grandmother - grandchild relationship.  When he was 8 months old I became the only mother figure he would know until  this past year.  Raising him has had its good side and the not so good.  Getting the chance to help raise another baby at the age of 50 was different and so special in many ways.  But what I have said I did miss out on was being "grandma" getting to spoil him and send him home again.  If I spoiled him many times I was the one who had to put up with the consequences
This trip I really got to be a grandma.  I could let him have ice cream for lunch if that is what he wanted ( and yes I did)  I could buy him the stupid little junky stuff.  I could let him stay up as late as he wanted and enjoyed the mornings when he crawled in bed to snuggle with me. 
I hope this trip will have an influence on his life in the future.  He learned what it is like to be an orphan - he learned that even though 2 people do not speak the same language communication is easy- he learned compassion as he emptied the change in his pockets into the cup of a man with no legs - He learned to try new foods and that some are good and others - well lets just say you could tell by the expression on his face what he thought of it.  I was proud when he ate at my friends house and complimented the cooking , only later to lean over and say I really did not like it but did not want them to feel bad.
I have said that Panama has changed me.  Made me grow outside of myself and learn that there are many things I can do and try and that I will succeed at some and fail at others but that is okay.   I hope that he too learned that- a valuable lesson for life.  Having Kaiden here gave me a reason  to do many things I liked before and would not have done again without having the excuse of wanting him to experience it.
So this morning as I did my beach walk I reflected on how lucky we both had been.  I hope  that I will get the opportunity to share this type of experience with all of my grandchildren.  It probably will not be a month in Panama - but hey what is wrong with a weekend some where - anywhere that it can be just the 2 of us.  So I will continue to search for marbles where ever I am and will always think of Kaiden when I do it - hmmm wonder if he will do the same.